Thursday, 27 October 2011

Where to Go From here

I saw things last night. It wasn't the first time. Small visuals have been happening for a while - but I didn't clue in to what they might be until last night. I was laying in bed and the first thing I "saw" was that there was no glass on the window right in front of me. I reached out to touch it and my hand went outside. It was very weird. Later I looked beside me and Craig was there, I looked to the other side and Andrea was there; looked back at craig - it was no andrea, looked at where andrea had just been and it was empty, looked to the other side and she was gone there as well. It was very terrifying - and I definitely was not asleep. The day previous I had been in with Remy and the room kept getting darker and lighter like a cars headlights were coming into the window - but there has been no car.

I am clearly seeing things.

Call wiggers. He changed my meds. I now take the benzodiazepine daily. The zombie pills will now be a daily part of my routine. The tryptophan is out. He said if this doesn't work then the likelihood of any medication working is only 5%-10%. Treatment Resistant Depression . I'm scared.

Electro Convulsive Therapy

I'm really scared.

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