Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Day 2

Still didn't take my meds. Conscious choice last night. Andrea doesn't have it in her to fight one way or the other. I feel awful for her - but this isn't her battle - she is just the victim of my choices.

I feel good still today. I woke up again. Actually woke up and was awake, I felt rested. My dreams have returned to normal. Maybe meds aren't for me. Maybe I was never that bad. Maybe it was a phase or a moment and now it has a passed and the meds keep making it worse. I don't know. Part of me knows I should take them, but what's the motivation when I feel near human without them?

Short term memory still a big problem. It's weird. I don't realize how bad it is until I try to think of something I know I should remember. We sat and knit last night, I can't remember what we watched. I went out to get something from the store - I know I got cookies because I just ate one, but that wasn't why I went - I don't remember what I got. It's very frustrating.

What else am I forgetting?

What part of me is left?

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