Thursday, 10 November 2011
Here we Go again
This is what I did last night. 17.7km in just under 3hours. Andrea had gone to bed, and I felt like Craig was watching me. So I walked. There were a lot less healthy options available to me. Came back home, and my body was tired - but my brain was not - but I did manage a few hours of sleep before Remy came into the bed.
I woke up still feeling manic, still kind of crazy - but also with the after affects of being so angry. I also crashed a few times on my walk and cried for a bit.
I miss being happy, purely happy, but my life is what is is.
I broke two of my paintings - they weren't real anymore, they weren't true.
I'm working over time today. Need to do something. Need to stay busy. Dont want the crash that I know is coming.
Woke up without drowsiness and dizziness again today. So awesome. Its a lie though, and I know it.