Thursday, 3 November 2011

Scared of Myself

I am scared of myself, and my own thoughts. I am scared of what they mean. I am scared I will never recover from how they make me feel. I am scared I will never get better at all.

Seroquel puts me in a weird far away padded like state. I don't feel connected to my body or my head. I feel internally overwhelmed and externally numb.

I thought the hospital and slow integration would be enough - but I am scared I have just fallen further down the rabbit hole.

She is only happy sometimes. She isn't sure we will ever get our life back.

I am scared.

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