This is not only different feeling...its having a much different effect on Andrea. Before she was filled with energy to help me - Ive drained it now. I don't say this because she is being unreasonable; she isn't - but this go around, is so much harder for both of us. As a result we are both off, both distant, and both afraid of making the other feel bad/guilty/unhappy.
I dont even know what I want to say, or what Im feeling. It's not that I am hiding something or trying to keep things from her.
I dont know how relationships are supposed to survive shit like this. I am constantly worried. What if this continues on and off for years, what if I am constantly dealing with this? I can't ask her to continue to do this. Moreover, Im not sure she would want to stay anyways.....