Tuesday, 5 June 2012


Im so fat. Seriously. I hate it. I hate being in my skin, in my body. I hate looking at me, I hate feeling me. I hate it all.

Emailed wiggers. Nothing he can do. Nothing can be done - except stopping my meds. Which I tried - and failed so poorly.

Andrea suggests weightwatchers. WW is for fat people who have no other choices, and can't do it themselves - which I guess is me perfectly, but fuck - I cant get a handle on my head, and now I can't get a handle on my own body. I depend on Andrea emotionally even. It's like I merely exist by leaning on people, and having crutches. I'm a weak miserable person.

I'm the same weight now I was when I started trying to lose weight. 12 weeks - no change. 170lbs....


I quit. I can't do this any more. What's the point? I'm unhappy no matter what I do.

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