Food. Food. Food.
Every time I take a bite of food I feel disgusted with myself. I see every morsel, every crumb as another cell of fat on my body. I hate it. I look at food as such an enemy. I am disgusted with myself.
So I feel awful about myself, and the only thing that makes me feel remotely better is food. So I take another bite, and another. Sometimes the boys bring me a muffin or a donut from timmy's - and I know I shouldn't eat it, but I do, because it makes me feel better.
Its a vicious cycle. I've given up on weight loss, and that makes my relationship with food even worse. I don't know what to do or where to begin.