So the ect waitlist, which I was never taken off of, hasn't moved at all. This means it is a minimum of 4 weeks before I can start - assuming things start moving, I doubt they will. I told wiggers how I had been feeling, how many times I had been suicidal, what I had done about it and he suggested upping the abilify (which is what caused the anxiety, can't sit stillness), upping the lamotrigine slowly to 200mg (Im on 75mg now) and adding another drug called Inderal to help with the anxiety caused by the upped abilify. Inderal lowers my bloodpressure, and potentially will make me dizzy, nauseous, tired, change my vision (yay - with the upped lamotrigine already making it hard to see, Im sure Ill be blind now), and trouble sleeping.
The upped abilify will cause an increase in anxiety, sexual side effects, tiredness, nasuea, vomitting - you know the usual.
These very likely won't happen to me, but really...another medication, upping the others - when does it end. When do the meds stop?