I think I figured out my crazy. The last few days I have been feeling off or crazy or whatever. I think I am going through an upswing/crash with my bipolar but my meds are trying to keep it in check. The crazy feeling lasted about a week, and now for the past couple of days I've been feeling a little low.
Yesterday I forgot my meds again, and sunk quite low - hiding in my room and everything. It's been a while since I have felt that badly about things. However, taking them and then a nap seemed to help - problem was by the time I felt better it was too late to actually take advantage of it.
So now I'm stuck. I can tell that I'm in a depression, and that makes me not want to take my meds, but they are the things that are currently keeping me as stable as is possible. It's weird to feel myself go high and then low but not actually experience it. I don't like it one bit. It is unnerving and a little scary to be honest. My head physically hurts with the confusion of it all.
But at least I'm stable for now....