Tuesday, 4 September 2012

No progress and progress

I've been on the metformin for two weeks now and still haven't seen an improvement over that time. I gained weight last week and have kept at the same weight this week. It has severely affected my appetite in that I am hardly ever hungry. I'm trying to be mindful of that and eat healthy nutrient rich foods, and I'm going to start taking a multivitamin to compensate for the lack of vitamins and minerals I am getting. But really, after two weeks I expected some change.

I don't know what's happened in the last like two weeks, but I am feeling more like myself lately. More like I used to feel. My weight is still a big issue but I think that is not due to my depression (as I think it causes my depressive feelings) but other things aren't affecting me like they used to about 2 months ago. I feel more balanced, more stable, more opinionated and just more like me. Now if I could just cut down on my meds and maintain that, that'd be awesome! I wonder if anyone else has noticed the change.

I am still sensitive to being made fun of, but I think that is due to my work with Mark. He has made me aware of how much I let myself be a pawn to others and how I let people walk all over me in order to get their approval. While I agree with him, I think the occasional teasing is okay - I do it too. Yet I still can't shake being made fun of and it puts me in a sour kind of angry mood. I don't know how to communicate that in a way that doesn't make me seem like a big baby.

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