Sunday, 14 October 2012

Determined and Lazy

So it's been nearly a week since I gave up trying in terms of workouts and runs. Needless to say - I feel like crap. I thought that if I didn't pressure myself to do them, that I still would most of the time and it might actually become a lifestyle change for me like I wanted. Turns out, if I don't feel I have to do it, I don't do it at all.

So, I think I need to try again. And I'm scared shitless about it. I  need to find a way to motivate myself to do these things, and eat healthier again. I don't know, honestly, why I keep trying when nothing is working and nothing is wrong with me. But try again I will because I refuse to be a complete quitter in this regard. If I quit completely I will end up 350lbs and alone.

I wonder if Andrea is embarassed to be seen with me?

I also wonder if they think I'm lazy for not being able to stay awake whenever I sit for too long. I don't know why it happens, but I honestly can't stay awake - like at all. I hate medication.

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