According to the scale, I weight 3lbs heavier than I weighed last week. I chose to weigh today instead of tomorrow because I'm eating thanksgiving dinner tonight. 3lbs. I now weight more than I ever have (barring pregnancy).
I'm giving up. I'll go see my trainer because I've signed a contract. I'll continue to eat healthily because it makes my body feel good. I'll continue to do workouts and runs when I want to. There will be no more feeling like I have to do things. If I want chocolate - fine, in moderation. If I don't want to do any workouts or runs for 5 days - I'm not going to. Clearly something isn't working. I weighed less when I wasn't trying, maybe not trying again is what's going to work. Who Knows? *shrug*
I knew I had gained weight though - both pairs of my actual pants are tighter. I have one shirt that I like wearing because it is big enough to hide everything. Unfortunately, it is only one shirt. I have two sweaters - one of which I should never wear out of the house and another which gets dirty so fast that it too shouldn't be worn out of the house. I have a pair of workout pants that fit, and a pair of brown non pant pants that have holes but I still wear. My two actual pants are too small.
I have a double chin. How hideous. I wonder how long it's been there.
I hate this. I'm officially giving up the hardcore trying.