Thursday, 8 November 2012

sad fat girl - 12

Look at how thin I once was

Look at how defined I was

Look at how happy I was

Then this happened

And there is no picture of my current weight. Let's just say large.

I'm currently hating on myself. I went to the store to grab two shirts I couldn't stop thinking about and good thing I tried them on, the sizes I was going to get were way to small. I am a men's extra large. I used to be a woman's small. There was a full length mirror in there and I caught a glimpse of myself just in a bra and jeans...I was so disgusted. I haven't actually seen a full image of myself for quite some time. It was hideous. Motivation to work harder I guess, but after 6 weeks of working with a trainer, eating semi better, and exercising nearly daily I have lost 1.5pounds. That's it. I'm not giving up - but what's the point. I'm honestly considering taking pseudo-ephedrine or something like that to just get this kick started.

I feel like going insane with it. Two workouts a day, eating nothing but apples and carrots, just going crazy. It's like the only thing I haven't tried yet. 

2 comments:

  1. I know you don't believe me because I don't believe anyone who tells me this, but you are gorgeous. Even if you don't feel it, I know you are.

    I feel the same way. Breastfeeding this time around, i'm not losing any weight, and I'm actually almost at my heaviest ever. I almost weigh more than I did while pregnant.

    So, I can't say I know exactly how you feel but I"ve felt the same pangs, wishes for a body that no longer exists. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "wishes for a body that no longer exists"

      Precisely.

      Delete