So my jeans have been big on me for a couple of weeks now. They are a size 36 (I holy crapped when I realized that was my size, considering I used to be a 26-28). But nonetheless they are big now, even when washed. So I went to the local thrift store to find out what size I am now. My first goal jeans are a 32, and I was so hoping to fit into 32's. Well, they do up, but they aren't pretty. So I am a solid 34, which is a one pant size difference. No weight loss, maybe just a redistribution.
I was excited for all of 5 seconds. Then I realized, again, how small I used to be and wondered why I was happy that I was still 6"-8" bigger waist than I was before. I was crushed.
But you see, I am reading this self esteem workbook thing, and it tells me that I am supposed to pay attention to my critic and tell him to shut up. So I did. I decided to turn off my brain and not think. I allowed myself to be content, but did not feel negative about the situation.
I'm going to try on my first goal jeans tonight and see if they do up. I've been pining after wearing these jeans since the summer.