Friday, 5 July 2013

Connections

I thrive on connection. My biggest pillar of support is Andrea. Without connecting with her, at least once a day, I feel less stable, more prone to letting my negative thoughts take over my head, and just generally a less happy person.

This is true for my kids too. Being with them provides a distraction from the negative obsessive thoughts that are in my head all the time. Unfortunately, due to my work schedule I haven't been able to connect with them much. I mean, I go see them every night when I get home, and when I tuck them in and give them a kiss (while they are asleep) I always hope they will wake up a bit and say a few words to me, so I can tell them I love them. Remy normally does. Regardless, they all get kisses, and they all have their blankets adjusted by me so they aren't too hot or too cold. It's the least I can do.

With Andrea, we talk during the day, which helps me feel closer to her, but in the evening, when I get home from work, we connect even more. It's that hour of the day that has been keeping me on track lately. As I have recently said those dark thoughts are creeping in stronger and stronger, they are becoming more obsessive, and louder. Without that hour of the day, I am not sure I would be able to control them. I look forward to it all day, and love it as it unfolds. I put my hands on her stomach and feel our little Ziggy move, we talk about our day, share stories; she tells me about the kids, I tell her about the silly people at my work or school.

It's so simple, but it does so much for me.

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